Toms River, NJ Divorce Law Firms & Lawyers

If the divorce to you first wife was not finalized, you are still legally married to your first wife. Your second marriage would be a nullity because you cannot contract a second marriage while still legally married to another. You need to contact a family attorney in your area for assistance.

You NEED to schedule a consultation with a divorce law specialist - not simply a lawyer that also handles divorce matters to better understand your rights and whether the proposed consent order makes sense for you. I dont know if you are already divorced and in your divorce agreement, you waived your claim to alimony or whether you were supposed to get a larger share of the division of your husband's pension plan as part of a support agreement and without knowing all of those details, its impossible for me or any other family law specialist to offer you guidance. As a general statement, in the division of assets in a divorce ( equitable distribution), the marital poriton of retirement assets are divided and you can start off with the presumption that the marital portion will be divided equally by either a roll over into an IRA account in your name or through a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO). If being divided by QDRO, the proposed form of order will tell the plan admin how to divide the benefits and whether you are entitled to what is called the joint and survivor option as well as the preretriement survivor benefits ( most plans permit both types of options to be elected). It is impossible to say whehter the proposed QDRO presented to you has been done correctly or whether it was done wrong. You need to have a competent family law specialist look at it and look at your agreement, etc to see if the other side is playing it straight with you or not.  Since this is a benefit that may pay you money for the balance of your life, I would find the money to pay for a competent consultation to review the material. 

Proceeding down the path you are pursuing will be the quickest way to get your wife to file a domestic violence complaint against you and having your world turned further upset down. You are married and you and your wife have a car with payments on it. As part of a divorce, one of you will end up with that vehicle and presumably the payment obligations associated with it as well. So, instead of stressing out and looking to create unnecessary issues for yourself, go meet with a family law specialist and get educated on your rights and your responsibilities as part of the divorce process as opposed to threatening your wife about her driving the car. Let me give you an insight – you acknowledged that you and your wife purchased a vehicle in 2019 and after its purchase, your wife has been driving it and now that you have decided to divorce her, you feel she should no longer be permitted to drive it and you are trying to figure out how to take it away from her and you are trying to rationalize your view. After being a family law specialist for the past 34 years, I can promise you that if you try and take that car away from your wife, you will be looking at a domestic violence setting, where your wife will state that you are engaging in harassment type behavior and took her car away from her to punish her and I can promise you that 96.275% of the family law judges in the state will view your actions as harassment and if so, impose permanent restrictions on you and more likely than not, require you to immediately return the car to your wife as well. So, meet with a family law attorney, get educated and do things more constructively in your divorce, so that there are fewer consequences to your actions.